Joining the table of men was such a big deal to me. Three days to my wedding, an uncle of mine promised to take me a wonderful place to eat. Spending time with such a great guy meant the world to me. After the call that Thursday, my day was made.
Early Friday morning around 6:35am, I heard my phone ring. With sleepy eyes, I managed to locate my phone and answer the call. It was my Uncle; suddenly, the sleep cleared.
“Son, I’m in front of your house; get ready and let’s go.”
“Okay Sir”, I replied while jumping out of my bed to do my magic. Within 6 minutes, I was ready and seated in his beautiful ride. The curious me asked, “Uncle, isn’t it too early to have such an appointment”.
He replied, “We’re even late”.
I was like “wow”.
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While he drove, we talked till we got to the place. I saw a good number of men standing in groups by their cars. They were standing closer to a big hall, which looked nothing like a restaurant.
“Uncle, what is this place” I asked. “I see only men.”
He said “watch and learn”.
Some few minutes later, we heard a loud voice saying, “its dinner time”! With no intention of dulling, we moved towards the entrance of the hall. As we entered, the doors closed behind us. I didn’t care much because of what I was seeing before my very eyes. The ambience was heavenly. The chairs, lighting, floral arrangement and everything was on point. A huge projection in the hall read “Dinner for the MEN, Lesson for the BOYS”. I found it hard to comprehend the projected words.
We all sat happily in our seats awaiting whatever was to be served before us to eat. Soon, some pretty damsels lined up from nowhere to setup food on respective tables. Their presence brought some excitement especially among the young men gathered there. I took mental note of the guys who either whispered or couldn’t take their eyes off certain part of the ladies’ bodies.
An old man with a megaphone walked to the front to spoil the free show. He said “around the table of men” and people replied “Boys stand behind to watch men eat”. I heard my uncle repeat the chorus. The old man then said “unmarried men kindly stand behind our chairs”.
The young men automatically stood by the tables like puppets as the married got ready to eat. We were just inhaling the aroma coming from the table. Broad day torture and annoyance was what I felt. Some of the boys wanted to go out but the doors were locked; poor us.
The old man spoke again, “Men, we can now eat. Boys, take note of everything that happens on your table. You masters will explain everything to you on your way back home “. Due to the ordeal we were faced with, majority of the guys were absent minded. I on other hand kept obeyed.
As they started eating, I make a few observations. I noticed:
Some men ate without praying.
Some men were using the wrong cutlery for the food before them.
Others were talking while eating.
Some men weren’t using their napkins to cover their outfit. They only remembered the napkins when they soiled their suit or trousers.
After eating, some men didn’t praise the ladies on the food or thank them for the service.
When the men were done eating, they moved outside, making way for us to also eat. The old man joined us inside to speak, advice and pray with us. The programme was official brought to a close.
Our journey back home was awkwardly filled with silence until my uncle cleared his throat. He enquired, “Tell me what you learned at today’s meeting”.
I began recounting the various mistakes I saw in there. He kept nodding as I spoke.
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“Everything you saw inside there was meant to teach you key principles about choices we make concerning life, marriage and relationships” he interrupted.
“The hall we went into represents MARRIAGE. The meal we ate stand for a WOMAN and the servers represent GOD.”
At this moment, I was catching the bigger picture. He went on.
When some men meet a woman and they want to propose marriage, they don’t seek God’s view of the marriage. When problems come after marriage, they blame God.
Some men don’t know how to treat women well. They treat their side chics well leaving their own wife. Which is a bad thing to do.
Some men don’t know how to keep their marriage problems. They don’t try to solve their issues with their women alone. They are either distracted by friends/side chicks and spend less time with their family.
Complimenting your woman daily plays a vital role in the marriage. Compliment your woman daily and she’ll always have you in mind. It shouldn’t be on occasional thing.
My uncle said “I always make time for you when you need my help. It’s because you appreciate me with gifts and reverence. Same principle should apply to your relationship with God and our spouse”.
We had deeper talks about work, future plans, religion and other till we got to my house and dropped me.
My wedding day came and I knew I was ready to give off my best to my wife, kids and others.
Two weeks after my wedding, my uncle died in his office. The autopsy done on him didn’t prove much though. We had no idea what killed him. I especially grieved all I could for my friend and uncle. I accepted the loss.
That meeting my uncle took me and his death changed my outlook about marriage. Anytime my wife serves me my meal, I remember him and all his advice. Saying “I LOVE YOU” to my wife is like the air I breathe.
My marriage is good, thanks to my Uncle… He made sure I got a solid orientation prior to joining the table of men.