THE “BREAK UP’’
My life took a different turn when my boyfriend lost his job (one he loved very much). He was really good at his job so I was actually surprised he got laid off. He was willing to work for less to no salary if his bosses agreed but they refused his offer.
Jojo kept getting rejected by various companies and this took a toll on our relationship. He didn’t like the fact that I was providing for the both of us and we wouldn’t stop fighting. I eventually moved out (well, he practically pushed me away) and we barely spoke afterwards.
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He later moved in with his friend and this made me feel like I was the cause of his problems. He stopped picking or returning my calls and barely replied my texts. At a point, I gave up and stopped calling. We ended up communicating at most, twice a week.
We planned to go out for drinks one Friday night. I guess I really missed him and the good times we shared; the Thursday game nights, Friday movie nights, Saturday shopping and cooking dinner together.
Friday finally came and all I could think about was Jojo. I couldn’t concentrate at work and was eager to see my man and hug him.
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We planned to meet at 7pm and at 8:30pm, he wasn’t at the venue. He didn’t answer my calls or reply my texts. His friend also didn’t answer my calls so I decided to go to their apartment just to check if everything was okay.
As I got close to the door of the apartment, I could hear Jojo and his friend screaming in excitement from inside. I wasn’t sure whether to knock or leave but against my better judgment, I entered to find the two playing video games. I was too embarrassed to stay or say anything so I left. This man didn’t even bother to apologize or follow me.
I entered the nearest pub with the sole intention of drinking away my sadness.
“Can I join you” a male voice politely asked from across my table.
“you can, but I want to enjoy my drink in peace!” I responded, motioning that he sits.
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We both drunk in silence until he started babbling about God knows what. To be honest, I didn’t hear anything.
At a point, I just left to go get a cab while he sat there still talking. He quickly rushed to me and offered to take me home. I eventually agreed because I didn’t want to argue with him (it’s been a long day).
At the door of my apartment, (honestly, I don’t know why he came that far) I turned him down with the excuse that I had a boyfriend, thanked and bid him good night. Just as I put my key into the door, he pulled me back in his arms and kissed me. I immediately pulled away (that’s a lie. After about a minute maybe) and slapped him. I don’t even know why I did that. I then opened my door and asked: “Aren’t you coming in?”
THE ONE NIGHT STAND
We entered my apartment while kissing and I have to confess it was pretty intense. After a couple of minutes, I pushed him on my bed to help him pull off his trousers and shoes. Dude knew how to handle the female anatomy. Let me just say, it was one of the best sexual experiences I’ve ever had.
In the morning, I woke up alone and found a number scribbled on a paper on my bedside table. I tore it up immediately. What nonsense!
I got to the office feeling different and extra energetic. I crowned the day with a treat at the restaurant on the roof top of my office complex.
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After my meal, I headed back to my office. Just when I got off the elevator, I heard a male voice right behind me; “Nice meeting you again”.
I turned to see the guy from yesterday, standing there with a cheeky grin plastered on handsome face.
“You? Are you following me or something? What the hell are you doing here?”
“My office is on this floor…”, he responded, still grinning.
“What??????….” I started feeling hot even though it was a generally cool day. “How? Since when?”
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“So, I’m I going to be bumping into him like this? I’m dead” I mumbled to myself as I walked away without waiting for his answer.
I didn’t know if Jojo and I had broken up or not but “dude from last night’’ was pursuing me and seemed pretty serious about it. Most people from work thought we were dating and because we were getting close, we decided not to address the rumors.
One time at lunch, I got a call from Jojo. I asked if he was okay or needed anything and he said he just wanted to talk to his girlfriend. Imagine my shock. Girlfriend?
Jojo started calling frequently but I didn’t reciprocate the attention or indulge him. I guess “dude from the other night” was slowly stealing all my attention.
Out of the blue, I decided to spend the weekend at Jojo’s to test if the spark was still there. The day started with our Saturday ritual of cooking together, amidst dancing, playing around and some adult fun which climaxed into the bedroom.
While we were at it, all I could think of was “dude from the other night”. Even though it was unfair to Jojo, I couldn’t help it. Jojo realized something was wrong but I couldn’t say anything sensible when he asked.
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Though Jojo and I had patched things up, I was still seeing “dude from last night” because I felt more connected to him. Don’t get me wrong—I really loved Jojo.
After a couple of weeks, I decided to end whatever was going on with ‘’dude from last night”. I called Jojo about coming over after work. By 4:30 pm, he was already at my office to pick me up. I told ‘’dude’’ I wouldn’t go home with him cos my boyfriend was picking me up. He seemed cool about it.
I exited the building with Sarah, an office colleague who coincidentally passed a silly comment about ‘’dude from last night’’ that almost got me in trouble. When we got to the car park, another colleague also passed a similar comment which got Jojo a bit curious.
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‘’You must be very close to this new friend of yours’’, he stated, trying to sound unbothered.
‘’Not really! We go home together and sometimes go to get lunch’’, I responded as calmly as I could possible sound even though my heart was beating super-fast.
‘’Naya, I know you! you don’t do things like this with people you are not so close with’’
I laughed nervously and asked; ‘’Are you jealous?’’
‘’Should I be?’’, he was beginning to sound a little frustrated.
‘’You know my heart belongs to you alone my darling’’. I didn’t lie when I said this but it didn’t mean I could not see or like nice things or people.
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To cut a long story short, we had dinner at a fancy restaurant, got ice cream after and we ended up in a club.
I woke up the next day with a terrible headache but managed to make it to work. My plan to sleep for a couple of minutes was cut short when my boss showed up unusually early.
“Dude from last night” came around to make fun of me and vanished only to come back with some concoction that made me lively in 5 minutes. I promised to take him out for lunch in return.
When we got to the already-packed cafeteria, he pulled out a chair for me and I could sense eyeballs redirecting to my table. I was a little shy but I enjoyed the treat. This guy was doing a lot of things Jojo was not doing (I don’t know if Jojo is naïve or just taking me for granted).
That weekend, “dude from last night” invited me over to his place for the first time. I declined the invitation, knowing it will cause problems for my relationship with Jojo.
However, I later decided to just visit. He cooked and we watched a few movies on Netflix. I don’t know when I fell asleep but I woke up to his soft voice asking me to come eat dinner, after which I asked to leave. He grabbed my purse and led the way to his car. We sat and spoke for a bit but next thing I knew were kissing. We eventually stopped and he drove me home.
When we got there, he asked for a drink but I warned him that that’s all he was going to get. We won’t have sex anymore.
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“Why?” he asked.
“Do you really need to ask? I have a boyfriend and this is not fair to him.”
He laughed… “You are so sweet”.
I don’t even know what he meant but whatever it was, we agreed to be friends ‘’without benefits’’.
THE ACTUAL BREAK UP
One hot afternoon. Jojo took me out for lunch and after the meal, he proposed a breakup since I had someone else. I was shattered because I didn’t see that coming. I really loved him (I know you wouldn’t believe it but I really did). I was speechless as I reflected on our relationship of 5 years and why he decided to do this now.
All the times he chose his friends and video games over me… was it because I wasn’t worth it? I’m not proud of what I did with my ‘dude from last night’ but he pushed me. If only he showed up that day.
I asked him to take me back to the office and we drove in silence. He wanted to speak to ‘dude from last night’ to ask if there was really nothing going on between him and I but I pretended I did not hear him. I was hurt and needed to get myself together. I didn’t need anyone asking me why I was crying and If I was okay or not. I don’t know how I did it but I took this breakup so well. Maybe, it’s because I knew Jojo never treated me right.
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A week after the breakup, I went to see Jojo to tell him about “dude” and I. I think he deserved to know I wasn’t the best girlfriend at the latter part of the relationship. I needed attention and got it from the wrong place. It wasn’t the right thing to do but I enjoyed the fun it came with.
I know you’d expect me to get together with “dude from last night” but, he was not the type of guy I wanted to date. Don’t get me wrong, he was very sweet but he had this habit of making me feel like a child. The only time he didn’t behave like my father or older brother was when we were having sex.
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I decided to go end things with him after work on Friday. Long story short, the break up sex was AMAZING! We decided to become ‘’friends’’ and keep it at that.
Charlie, sex doesn’t mean commitment because people do things for various reasons. I did it for the fun of it and not because I wanted commitment. Don’t tie your destiny to a partner simply because of sex or companionship. If it’s not the right fit for you, MOOOOVE!
Or what do you think???