First Divorce Letter:
My dear husband,
I’m writing this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you. I’ve been a good wife to you for the last 20 years and I have nothing to show for it. The last two weeks has been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today, which was the last straw.
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Women!
Last week, you came home and didn’t notice I had a new hairstyle. I had cooked your favourite meal and even worn a brand-new nightie. You ate in two minutes and went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
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Don’t try to find me. Your brother and I are moving to Kumasi together.
Have a great life!
Your Ex-Wife
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Reply: Second Divorce Letter
Dear Ex-wife,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you and I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and bitching. Too bad that doesn’t work anymore.
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The Little Things Matter
I did notice when you got a hairdo last week. But the first thing that came to mind was ‘You look like a boy!’ Since my father raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment… And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have got me confused with my brother because I haven’t eaten prawns for 7 years.
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My Brother?
And the new nightie: I turned away from you because the GHS 299.99 price tag was still on it, and I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed GHS 350 from me this morning.
After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I won the GHS 20 million lotto on Saturday, I left my job and bought two tickets for us to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
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Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a cent from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell and Free!
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Source: Anonymous
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