This Thing Called Marriage

I had had a perfect picture of marriage since my infancy. Growing up in the beautiful city of Accra, I saw how cute my parents looked together. Even at an old age, their marriage looked sweet and interesting; maybe, it’s cos I was raised around positive people; you can’t blame me…

My mum and dad always talked about their day and laughed at it. I remember one time my mum and dad were in the hall talking and I heard mum laugh really loud. The curious me wondered the punch my dad gave her. I entered and saw mum rolling on the floor with dad laughing and crying. I soliloquized “you two should get a room”.  It was really nice seeing them happy; I wanted something beautiful as what mum and dad had going.

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Meeting Kabutey

Fast forward to when I started dating Kabutey. We dated for five years and we really had fun; we fought but resolved it before sunset; it was only one time a fight went beyond 24 hours. Even that, I realized it was my fault so I went over to his end to apologize. As human as we are, we had our differences but always pulled through.

On Saturday, June 26, 2015, we got married and it was a beautiful and glorious wedding. Because of Kabutey’s dad, we had great Men of God gracing the ceremony. And we didn’t stay long at the reception. We were in a hurry to enjoy our honeymoon, moaning (pun unintended); you don’t want to hear details of what we did or didn’t do.

I wanted my marriage to be sweeter than what my parent had so I was willing to do whatever it took. Our three years of marriage was all rosy until my dear husband had to travel on international assignment. I wasn’t going to stop him even though I was going to miss him. We had four kids, including his son.

He left for Holland for a project he didn’t want to do but was the only person available to handle it. When he left, I realized I was pregnant and since I wanted to surprise him, I didn’t tell him. I wanted him to return home to see the surprise for himself. Per his contract, he was supposed to be away for six months there but he was still not back after a year. Anytime we spoke on Skype, I made sure he saw just my face; he kept telling me how I was growing big and I kept throwing him off with the excuse that I overeat anytime I miss him.

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After Kabutey Left For Holland

When my husband left initially, we talked every day. He told me about his day, the funny things that happened at work. After a year, we didn’t talk as often as we use to. I became worried as I felt he was keeping something from me; the thoughts of losing him alone was killing me. Each time I complained, he goes like “You’re thinking too much” or “it’s nothing”.

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Six months turned into two years; at this point, I had to tell him I had given him a son because the delay had ruined my surprise. Now I call Kabutey and all I get is voice mail and he doesn’t call me back; I got worried so I went to Kabutey’s office and was told he suggested staying for that long. I was disappointed he didn’t tell me and had left behind four kids who hadn’t seen their dad in two years. Instantly, I begged his boss to let him call me at least. I went on my knees praying for Kabutey, asking God to make him come back for the sake of the children. My prayers were answered (well, so I thought) when I received a call from Kabutey that he was coming the following weekend. I was filled with so much joy.

Two and a half years and Kabutey was finally back. I took the kids to my mum’s just for the night (sharp). My dear husband was home and that night was supposed to be epic. We had a lot of fun.

We needed more than just a night so we went on a trip to Kenya, something-something beach hotel; the place is very beautiful… The environment alone turned me on so you can imagine that atmosphere plus Kabutey there… Hehehehe…..

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Hmmmmm

Our first three days was fun. On our third night, Kabutey started acting strangely; he got a call, took it outside to answer and spoke to whoever was on the line for a while. I let it pass but whoever it was kept interrupting our quality time so I had to ask. He told me it was a colleague at work, in Holland.

One afternoon I asked that we go swim but Kabutey wasn’t interested so I went alone. When I got back, I saw my husband Skyping with this colleague and he was naked. The nasty things they were talking about was as disgusting as a frog mating with a chicken. Charlie that was the shock of my life; my husband has turned gay or should I say bisexual.

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I asked that we leave for Ghana the following day but he begged that we stayed to resolve everything;  The peaceful me agreed because I needed my marriage to last and work; I wanted to know how the phrase “and they lived happily ever after ” felt like.

I asked what that idiot gives him better and he had the gut to tell me he enjoys eating his anus… Herh, I was shocked. “Aaahh Awurade, miko daa hin?” loosely translated “Lord, what wrong did I do?”  That was the question I kept asking myself over and over again. Maybe all I did wrong was to love Kabutey more… “You have disgraced your family and the species you represent… I am disgusted…” I said to myself.

Charlie, I cried my eyes out that whole night.

In the morning when the sun showed up, I asked my husband how it all started. Dude wasn’t saying anything cos he claimed it happened so fast….

“Liar”, I muffled to myself.

Related: No Sex

Foolish Boy (Sorry Man)

So I asked him what I could do to make our marriage better and he said if I allowed him to have anal sex with me he will end the relationship with his “colleague”…..

I was now more shocked and disgusted….

Can you imagine???

Questions

• Will you allow this if you were in my shoes to save your marriage???

• Or you will just end seven years of marriage???

• Do you think Kabutey has respect for me and our marriage??

Keep your comments /thoughts coming…

NB: This piece is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Marriage Story By Judith Ankomaah Dei

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Judith Ankomaah Dei

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