I stayed kneeling on the ground for the past one hour; with my face down, phone in hand, tears in my eyes, pain in my heart, eyes shut in anguish; and all I could say was “babe, I’m so sorry.”
But let’s dodge the sad scenes and talk about the good times, during my ‘hey’ days in China. Before my emotional breakdown two years later. I was doing a two-year Masters In Computer Engineering course, unmarried and more adventurous than I had ever been before going to Beijing.
But I had a very beautiful damsel waiting for me back home, Awo, whom I loved very much. I was highly hopeful we would tie the knot upon my return after my study. Yet still, I felt as free as a fiddle in Beijing. I could do what ever the fruit I wanted without she knowing.
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I used to work out a lot though; I had the biceps every lady would drool to grab. The weather in Beijing brought out a clearer skin, making me look so fresh and clean. There was a sudden craze for tall, dark, handsome looking West African men in Beijing, that caused a frenzy among Southern African and Middle East ladies and I happened to posses all these qualities.
In a nutshell, I had the looks almost every lady would fight for. I started to receive my quota of attention, when I met Sandra Katongo, a very beautiful and bootylicious Zambian student, in a nearby club, with five of her friends. She walked up to me and whispered into my ear if I would want to have a drink with her. As naive as I was, I had no idea this lady was trying to have drunk sex with me as she kept on filling my glass.
Next I knew, I was deep inside her forbidden kingdom, in her room on campus, stroking and turning to Usher’s “Tell me” as it played on her radio. The alcohol I took did me good, I felt like an X-rated movie star. The inner joy I felt made me moan like a lady that night. “Is this how it actually feels like to be with a foreigner?”
My “man-hoe” phase
After clearing Sandra, I never picked up her calls, neither did I agree to meet up with her. I made her understand it was a one-time affair. She cried wolf and sent her best friend over to talk things over with me.
Rutendo came to my room to discuss Sandra, but the discussion interestingly turned into an azonto dance lesson. She marveled at my dance moves and begged me to teach her. We danced and laughed, and had a couple of drinks, and boom, we were naked.
And one by one, I cleared all Sandra’s friends. From Rutendo to Sanchoka, from Sanchoka to Brittany, from Brittany to Maria, from Maria to Tendai; I was the Michael Phelps in the game and could send 1-4-3’s to ten girls at the same time before going to bed. I could walk into a club and leave with two hotties.
There were instances where i could leave girls fighting over me in front of my door. I even lost my body count at a point, I lost count after thirteen. A male nympho, I became. My friends, a couple if them, started calling me “Don Juan” – from the famous Don Juan character who loved sex in the eighteenth century.
The attention I was getting was mad crazy. I had a whole folder of nudes from many girls in my vault app on my phone. It felt as though the ladies were privileged to be with me and most often sent me their nude content, just to please me.
Graduation is here
So it’s July the thirteenth and I’m graduating. Aside my promiscuity, I took my studies serious. Never did i miss a class, I could suspend a session with one of them ladies just to attend a lecture. I never forgot the reason I was there in the first place. There I walked up the stage, had my photograph taken, with a wide smile on my face. It felt as if I had cheated the world just to get what I wanted. I made sure I took the best photographs I had ever taken and posted them on my Facebook.
Afterwards, I bought my ticket and the first thing I did was hide my passport in another friend’s room; I couldn’t take any chances, one of these crazy girls could tear it up and tell me she does not want me to leave her. I was so focused on going home that I had planned how I was going to deal with all distractions. Also, I was so excited I was going to see Awo, hadn’t seen her in almost twenty one months. “Hey, baby I’m coming home, I’m coming home to you. Darn, I miss you, and I can’t wait to be with you.”
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The journey to marriage
I touched down Kotoka Airport on a Sunday night, just around 10pm. I saw Awo run up to me as I walked to the arrival section. We hugged and kissed, right in front of my parents and her brother. And as I had planned, I got down on one knee, and took out the ring I had bought at a duty-free shop in Dubai.
She touched her face and immediately started to cry. I could hear a lot of “awws” around me. People came around and started taking video footage of the romantic show I put up. She said a soft yes, and that was how our story began. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. I had no idea marriage is a journey that only ends at death. Did I not understand the concept of marriage? All i knew; I loved this lady standing in front of me and wanted to tie her down before any man could.
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Girls! Girls! Girls!
My weakness started to crawl up to me again. Girls! Girls! Girls! It was just a week after I had arrived and I was already itching to have a nice time with a lady; one of these pretty ladies I see all around me. I was no more seeing Chinese ladies with flat butts, I was witnessing the best sculpts of God’s handiworks, Ghanaian ladies are da bomb.
Awo had stressed we hold on to any sexual activities until we got married. I had no choice but to agree but I was dying inside. Never had I gone a week without having any sexual activity in the past two years.
So I started to look around and found one; no two, no three; actually, I slept with six ladies within the next two months. As I stated earlier, my weakness was catching up on me once again.
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Our Engagement Ceremony
So we had our engagement ceremony, it was glamorous. The food was lit. The music was good. Everyone was happy for me. Never had I received so much love from people at a given time. It was a short but lovely occasion. And I could not wait for the wedding which was due in two days. I couldn’t wait to kiss Awo at the alter and call her my wife. Also, I couldn’t wait to finally have legal sex, and start a family.
At around 8pm on Friday, the day before the D-day, I had missed Awo and gave her a call. Told her I had wanted to see her one last time before we tie the knot. So we linked up at a nearby hotel, booked a room, and kissed all night. We had even started making our vows that night before the wedding. It was all gloomy and nice, everything was nice, that moment was just beautiful.
I got up to use the washroom. I had to hurry for we had to leave and rest before our big day. Here I was comfortably seated on the toilet seat, fantasizing and smiling about the next day. I was so excited I could not even smell my poop. I took out my phone as I like to do when I’m in the toilet.
A few seconds later, Awo sends me four messages on my WhatsApp. I quickly opened it, and to my amazement, I realized she had shared screenshots of my chats with four ladies, where we were sexting and talking about intimate times we had had together. And these were conversations I was having just weeks ago. To make matters worse, she followed up with naked pictures I had received from them; a couple I had taken myself.
I immediately stopped pooping, I started sweating like a fish. A couple of seconds later, she sent “I am waiting for you in the bedroom.” My mind was spinning.
“How did she find these and for how long had she had these screenshots?”
“What do I tell her?”
“How could I be so careless and not delete my chats?”
Bro……. I stayed in the Loo for an extra thirty minutes, thinking. But I finally gathered the courage to get up and flash my poop, and walk back into the bedroom. I don’t even remember wiping myself. I was shaking all over. The last time I was this scared was when my dad caught me at a bar drinking alcohol with some friends when I had lied to him I was in school.
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Why is she being so nice
Awo said nothing that night. Surprisingly, she just took her bag and told me to dress up so we leave. I was confused. She gave me a peck on the cheek and we walked out of the hotel premises. She even opted to drive, and it was the most silent and awkward drive.
We arrived at my place and she kissed me passionately with a smile on her face. All I could say in my head was “what the actual fuck is going on and why is she being so nice.” Gosh I was so scared she might call off the wedding. How and why was I going to sleep that night? In my bed, I kept on tossing and turning. That moment, I recall praying as well. I prayed to God for forgiveness, to cleanse me of my many promiscuous impurities; I promised to turn over a new leaf, deleted all my chats with my girls. Everything within me could not stand the thought of losing the woman I was about to get married to.
The day had finally arrived-I was going to find out if Awo would say yes or no. That morning, I had planned to take the microphone from the pastor before we say our vows, where I will confess to Awo and promise to be faithful to her, while I shed some tears. I had it all planned. I had to make sure she was not going to denounce me of this marriage. Of course I had to publicly ridicule myself in order to save this marriage. I had my words written down on a small piece of paper in my jacket.
My best friend and best man, Ben, looked even more excited than me. He had been drinking the previous night, and was so happy for me; but I could not tell him what had happened. If only he knew how I was boiling on the inside. I visited the Loo three times that morning.
God I was so nervous.
Down The Isle
Awo walked down the isle, very beautiful and elegant; she walked gracefully as the singer sang an acoustic version of Wale’s Matrimony. I started to cry as I watched her. My heart was so heavy, “why was I cheating on this beauty? What was I looking for?” I just stood at the alter hating myself. As she got closer, my tummy rumbled, and I was in total fear.
Awo kept smiling and it got me even more nervous. I needed to visit the Loo again. Do you know how awful I felt? It was that bad. Ben kept wiping sweat off my face, he looked perplexed as to why I looked so awful. My eyes were heavy and red; I had not slept the whole night.
Awo whispered into my ear “baby I can see you’re very nervous. I understand it is a big day for us, but do not worry, we will be out of here pretty soon and we are going to have the best sex we have ever had.”
Her words were like medicine to my uncomfortable state. I immediately started smiling; now, I was confident everything was going to be fine. I even completely forgot about the little paper in my jacket. We said our vows, kissed and voila, we were husband and wife.
We walked into our hotel room exhausted. I threw myself onto the bed and exhaled heavily. Awo joined me as we talked for a while, talking about the day, the high points, and people’s dresses. We called a couple to thank them and also checked out some of the gifts we had received.
After taking her shower, I actually thought the moment I was waiting for was finally here. I took off my clothes and went under the sheets. My third leg was up at 90 degrees, ready for action.
Awo came out and started dressing up (I was confused).
“Baby, why don’t you come in here and join me. I have something to show you” I said.
She smiled, wore her jeans and started putting on makeup.
“Where are you going” I asked her.
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“I am going to spend the night at K.J’s.”
K.J happens to be Awo’s immediate ex, that type of ex who always wants a comeback; I have always hated his guts. I jumped out of the bed immediately, butt naked to confront her.
She put her finger on her lip.
“Ssssshh! Say nothing fuck boy, you more than anyone has no right to tell me who not to sleep with. Now, it is my turn to have my fair share of fun; do not come looking for me for I will see you in the morning.” She gave me a kiss on the forehead and fled.
There I stood , motionless, and unable to say nothing back to her. I immediately dropped onto the ground and started to cry. I cried so loud I was surprised no one came knocking on the door to ask if everything was okay. Come see me trying her phone but to no avail. Her phone was off. I could not help but think of what that douchebag could be doing with my Queen. Picture me sweating and feeling as uncomfortable as I was in the church early on.
I finally had to tell my best friend and best man, Ben, the truth so he bails me out on this. I had to figure out a way of preventing my wife from committing adultery just hours after we exchanged vows. She had all this planned. She knew what she was doing. This is why she kept quiet the whole time.
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The 120 Drive
I dashed off to Ben’s place and remember doing 120 on a free way. In his living room, we sat on opposite chairs. Thirty minutes into our conversation and I had already burst out into tears. I gave him all the details there was to my story. I told him about all my escapades with all these ladies and how I was unfortunately now seeing the repercussions of my actions. My weakness had found its way into my marriage and now my arse was hanging on a thread.
“Bro, she’s going to have sex with that scumbag to get back at me. Bro you’ve got to help me, please. I love my wife, I love her so much and I regret all I did.”
Ben smiled and I had no idea why he would find my situation amusing. He got up from his seat, sat next to me, put his arm around my shoulder and said softly “she’s here!”
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The stern look
A few seconds later, Awo came out from his kitchen. My mouth dropped that very minute. I was so perplexed I did not even notice I had dropped my phone and cracked my screen. She looked at me rather sternly, as if she hated me.
“She came crying to me before the engagement, and almost called off the wedding.” Ben said. “After two hours, I finally managed to convince her to go ahead with it, and that we would teach you a lesson. She was never going to see her ex, and we both knew you would come crying to me for help; your wife loves you, she will never do that to you.”
He then took out some tissue and handed it over to me to wipe my tears. He turned and pointed at Awo and said, “Now go to your wife! Love her! Cherish her! And remember your vows you swore before God – Until death would the two of you part.”
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Ben then grabbed his car keys, winked at me and walked away. Now there was tension in the room. and I was suffocating. It felt as if I was in court and the whole country was about to witness my sentencing. I stayed kneeling on the ground, for the past one hour, with my face down, phone in hand, tears in my eyes, pain in my heart, eyes shut in anguish, and all I could say was “babe I’m so sorry.
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