Sexual Healing

sexual healing

One day in my teen years, I got really mad at God about sexual matters.


I did not understand why He frowned on fornication yet gave all of us libido as soon as we hit puberty. I mean how can I suppress that overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity that takes control of my being.

Back to my anger issue. You aa, You are saying we shouldn’t shag outside marriage (Exodus 6-14, Proverbs 6:32); you too aa, You have given us this…, this…, aaarrghh…hmmm! I was just furious. I kept asking Him questions upon questions. So, what do you expect me to do now that my whole system is excited like jelly but I do not ‘qualify’ to do the errrmmm…You know what I mean, right? Right? So what now, God?

I got no answers immediately, but years later, the picture about sexuality became a bit clearer to me. We can all agree that sex is the single most enticing venture to us humans. We dream, talk, imagine, teach, learn and smack our lips in sheer delight at the mere thought of it. So much attention for a three-letter word huh? That’s enough to tell us there is more to sex than we think we know.

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God’s Original Plan

Usually, when we purchase a product, we always read the manufacturer’s note to properly operate it. Failure to read the note or manual may result in the damage or misuse of the product. It doesn’t even matter if the damage to the product was unintentional; if you do not handle the product as the manufacturer says you should, you’ll have yourself to blame soon enough. Simple as ABC.

In God’s original plan, it is obvious that couples are meant to appreciate their sexuality in their innocence. If the man is not sexually experienced, and the woman is not either, neither of them can really be bothered by what is boring and what is not. If God says to remain chaste till they’re married, then obviously, discovering and appreciating their sexuality is a part of the marriage package.

Related: No Sex Before Marriage Destroyed My Marriage

You see, sexual immorality is the only thing described in the Bible as a sin against one’s own body (1 Corinthians 6:18, James 4:7, 2 Timothy 2:22). And God tells us our body is His temple (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). This makes what we do with our bodies a top priority to God. In a romantic relationship, any of the partners who are sexually experienced than the other may become the Achilles heel of their sex lives. In most cases, they enter into relationships with sexual expectations and demands that are often not met. This sometimes leads to frustrations, heartbreaks and disappointments among other things. Sexual intimacy outside marriage could also bring about unnecessary drama, emotional bonds, stress and soul


Related: This thing called marriage


Next Steps

I believe God ‘manufactured’ sex, gifted it to us and gave us just one clause to it; experience it (sex) with one’s spouse and no one else (1 Corinthians 7:2). That’s one and only requirement God seeks of us – the only o. But this seems so difficult for us. Many of us fornicate before we exhaust the puberty slot. Some of us share different sexual partners even after marriage. God guides us in what to do so we can have purposeful lives; but why does this particular instruction seem so difficult to adhere to? What to do, what to do?

God being so good, the Bible gives us one antidote to sexual temptation – FLEEEEEE!!! That’s all. When the hormones start raging, do one thing only – flee! When feelings go rife – flee! The Bible did not say we should pray when we feel tempted, or sing, or negotiate, or try to convince ourselves that nothing will happen. In situations where we get the urge but then we’re alone, fleeing/running would mean switching to or engaging in something that will take our minds off sex.

Related: You Simply Stopped Going To Church… Saaaa

If it happens when you are with the opposite sex, please, pretty please, don’t drag your feet. Remove your slippers and get the herautader! It makes sense that the Bible gives us this advice as we can all agree there is not much we can do about our sexual urges; that’s how we’ve all been programmed. No one who ever fled from such temptation regretted anyway. On the other hand, those who decide to handle it their own way, well, do have a story to tell.

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No matter what, none is wiser than God. Life has proven that so many times. Not trusting God enough to listen to what He tells us about sex is like taking God off the throne and putting a man in place. There’s only one end to ignoring what God says and applauding what man says – disaster. All things are permissible but obviously, not all are beneficial to us (1 Corinthians 6:12).

The good news though is that God does not condemn you if you are not a virgin. Never! Not being a virgin does not also mean one should continue wallowing in sexual promiscuity.

Related: Intimacy With God: A Sinner’s Prayer

One of my favourite realities in the Bible is the fact that no matter how wretched or sinful one thinks he is, God is always, always willing to accept us back to Him (Isaiah 1:18); I can’t stress this enough. More importantly, He remembers our sins no more (John 8:11). The stories of Rahab Joshua 6:25 and David reassure us that we can be reconciled to God, no matter how fallen apart we are.

Amazing grace huh?


A Sexual Healing Story By Jane Quist

Works By Jane

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