‘Wild Thoughts’ by Rihanna

If I were Rihanna, these would be what I meant by ‘Wild Thoughts’.
Sometimes, when I get extremely bored
And unconsciously wallowing in thought,
I get some pretty interesting stuff running through my mind.
I’m sure you’ll find them weird
But I bet they’re not as weird as some misconceptions I had as a kid.
Now let me share with you a few of my ‘wild thoughts’.

WILD THOUGHTS 1: How men who are short in stature make love

At times, I wonder, ‘how do the famous Aki and Porpor make love to regular-sized women?’
(Chuckles) I don’t even wanna imagine that but I mean, is that even possible???
Well, those boys though… Oops! Men, I mean.
I really can’t imagine a better childhood without them. Thanks, legends!

WILD THOUGHTS 2: WAKE KEEPING SAGA

Growing up, I used to think wake-keeping during funerals was some kind of ‘fallow period’ or last chance given to the dead to wake up before they’re lowered into the grave.
Yeah, dumb right? Well, you can’t blame me when I was consistently hearing stories from our old folks about deceased people waking from the dead. lol!
Ahaaaa guess who this reminded me of. (drum-rolls…) THE GREAT UNDERTAKER!
(Please don’t waste time wondering who he is if you weren’t born in the age of wrestling)

WILD THOUGHTS 3: Albinos

On to the next… Do you ever wonder why there are never obituary posters of albinos?
I’m sure you’ve also heard stories of how they vanish but never die. Hmm, suspicious, right?
I think we should get Anas to investigate on this before they go extinct. lol

WILD THOUGHT 4: Colour of sweat and urine

So, I also find myself thinking if it is the liquids we drink that come out of our bodies as sweat or urine, why don’t I have green sweat and urine when I drink green jolly juice?
Think about it (in Josh2funny’s voice).

MY FUNNIEST ONE: Sibling marriage

Ha! I just remembered this one!
I used to think siblings grow up to be coupled so then brothers who did not have sisters or vice versa, would be the ones who grow up and never get married or have kids.
How I would have hated to marry my annoying brother! Haha, don’t mind me, ladies, he’s a darling.

WILD THOUGHTS 6: THEY LIED TO US

There’s this huge question I never had an answer to as a kid. Please don’t tell my parents I said this…
I always wanted to know.. ‘Is there some other way to make babies aside what we all know?’
As to why I had this thought, only those with strict parents will understand. If you know, you know!

Related: Believe Me Not

WILD THOUGHTS 7: Four Common “Toli” we’ve been told

Toli Number 1
Now this next one, I’m sure y’all think about it too.
When people get total amnesia (memory loss) in telenovelas, how do they still remember the language they speak?
Aren’t they supposed to go back to the default baby language? (hmm Mari Cruz nkrofuor yi a!)

Toli Number 2

Do you remember how our old folks used to tell us that heaven is above the clouds and hell is underground?
This always got me thinking, “When people are digging manholes, don’t they get scared that they might fall into hell?
And when aeroplanes go above the clouds, do they see Heaven?

Toli Number 3

My mom told me that each star in the sky represents a person on Earth so whenever someone dies, that’s when we see a falling star.
So now that all the stars are literally missing from the sky, does it mean we are all dead and now living in the afterlife?
Or we dier we no get the stars some?

Toli Number 4

I’ve also been thinking… did any of you hear this myth that when you put water in a mortar for three days and wash your face with it, you’ll see spirits? (ei, my people!)
Please I need reviews on that wai. I am still gathering my morale to give it a try.

Related: Ghana Trotro Tales: oh traffic

WILD THOUGHTS 8: Road to Harry Potter’s Magic School

I’m sure everyone has some nice places in mind that they’d love to visit one day.
For me, I am wondering, if I attempt walking through all the pillars at all the train stations in the UK, will I find the one passage to Harry Potter’s magic school? Well, I guess that’ll be answered when I do travel to the UK. Hogwarts dier, me I will attend that school p333!

LEMME END WITH THIS ONE

When I was a kid, I used to think that when I swallow a seed, it would grow in my stomach and sprout on top of my head. Haha funny!

If I go further, I’d be sure to earn the ‘weirdo’ tag by the time you’re done reading lol. But I bet I’m not the only one who’s had these wild thoughts.

I’m pretty sure Rihanna was also thinking a few things in there when she said ‘Wild thoughts but well, these are mine. Do you relate?