Wedding Day Question: What If?

Wedding plans

Another wedding post dressed with ‘what if’ is here again. So before you start reading meaning into the title, I insist you purge your mind. Kindly flow with me on this my love post.

I was blinded by a quickening spirit to select a dress, iron it and hurry to Agya Appiah’s wedding ceremony. Accidentally, I found myself unzipping my mother’s Ghana Must Go bag which resembled mine. An enviably collection of black and red funeral apparel greeted my eyes and nearly annoyed me. Why should Maame spend money to stock funeral clothes she will never wear again? Wahala number one.

Wedding Expectations

Swiftly, I made it to the church and carefully took notice of the cars parked and the diversity of clothes. My admiration halted when I overheard daughters of Eve chanting insults at the would-be couple. Some guest claim it was unacceptable for the couple to wear rags on their big day.

“But why should an African wear a three-piece suit in a roof where the sun was blazing hot?” I asked myself. Hell broke loose when it was announced there would be no wedding reception after the church ceremony. People confessed the couple was not only out of fashion touch but ridiculously broke and very “chisel”.

I wondered how an accomplished business man like Agya Appiah could organize so porous a wedding. It so happens  he was trending on gossip columns for two weeks without interruption. I phoned Agya about wanting to visit that same evening and he agreed to meeting me. I knocked on the front door leading to his five-bedroom apartment. For a moment, I knew it was wrong to bother the couple over choices they made. Entering the living room, I realized the couple was expecting me; that feeling got me scared and thinking.

Wedding Issues: Their Side of the Story

Agya and the wife were so hospitable to me that I felt it was too good to be true. Then the conversation started, but on a neutral issue. No mentions on the wedding that filled all gossip tabloids in the metropolis. Strange!

I’m an alumni of “School of Hardknocks”, Adisadel college and the University of Ghana. All my life, I have never attended a 2-hour lecture that transformed my mind. He exposed my ignorance on common matters as though my wisest grandmother hadn’t taught me anything. Agya schooled me on unnecessary expenditure, necessities of life, and the essence of everything in life.

To him, ceremonies like engagements, wedding, outdooring and funeral had lost their essence. He would never fall victim of ociety’s unnecessary demands and corrupted standards. That, I thought, was deep and very courageous on his part. Then he lashed, “how can our children get a better future if we waste our sweat on vain things”.

When I thought he had finally won me over, the wife cleared her throat. “Em-hm-hmm; menua, do you know I very much subscribe to the Muslim way of burying the dead? It’s so modest, cost effective and makes lots of sense. I found that weird, coming from a Christian woman; I now appreciated the simplicity the couple displayed at the wedding some weeks back.

My Wedding Dilemma

“Wake up”, I heard Ato Kwamena say. “Man, afigure say you die-o; I call you-a taya”, he added while panting. I sat on the bed confused, enlightened and speechless. The conflict within warranted the outburst, “what a shock”. But why did I have to get this enlightened few hours to my wedding”, I thought to myself. Jesus, my heart is troubled.

It’s time to act. But do I side with the rebels (Agya Appiah) or follow the crowd to enjoy life to the ‘foolest’?

Then my phone beeped to signal a received text message. The words of the text made my burden uncarriable at that moment. My beloved asked “Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple ceremony”.

How! Is it that I’m still dreaming, or my beloved had a similar dream or I just went crazy…?

I really need answers. What if we are going about things wrongly?


Written on: Saturday, 06 November 2010 at 10:08

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