Friendships, relationships and for that matter every kind of mutual agreement that puts two or more people together is deeply seated at the core of our lives. Truth be told more and more increasingly we are pushed to give up on some of these relationships that sometimes go to the extent of defining our very existence and core principles as humans.
People have sacrificed families, fellowships, friendships, courtships and the most endeared of them all marriages. Why? I wish I could answer that too. Nevertheless, when we look at our lives in retrospection, we can each ask ourselves why we ended our last friendship, relationship or even that business partnership, and we will definitely have answers.
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To be honest no one really enjoys pain. Especially the kind inflicted by the persons or people we share our lives with, our visions, thoughts, dreams, aspiration and even the worst of our fears and darkness. We only end these relationships simply because we can’t be vulnerable. Not anymore.
Whatever the reason for ending that agreement was, the bottom line is that one party couldn’t keep healing wounds and nurturing that so-called Love again while the other bruised it continuously. In short, vulnerability isn’t meant for me is what you said while you walked out.
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At this point in your life, you certainly would have decided to not make room for some friends, family members and even partners again. No more chances for betrayal, pain and hurt you have dealt with over and over again. Some have just happened once, and yet still you can’t imagine reliving the experience and so no second guessing.
For every time I have considered cutting off from a friend, a family member, church folk or even a business client. I have always had a good cause for those actions.
Seriously why should I keep calling and checking on friends who have tagged our friendship as need-based and simply don’t give a monkey’s right bottom about me trying to stay in touch and all they say is “I am busy” like to say I sit in my home somewhere in the Bahamas holidaying and all I can think of is enjoying life and checking up on them. Hmmm!
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How about the many friends who owe me money and have always owed me for years and yet pretend I am non-existent just so they can invade their debts.
What makes me think or what at all should make me think that relative I have been bending my back to support really cares about me if not for what is at stake. Oh! that girl I have tried years to woo with all my time, money and effort.
Do I think she really thinks I am worth her time? How about the ones who schooled abroad or lived there for a while and felt that since I schooled in some third-world shit hole country I didn’t deserve their company until my help is needed?
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Who tells me? Why shouldn’t I just ditch every one of these people and walk away? Humanly speaking, every one of them is guilty as charged and don’t deserve a place in my life. I can’t be Vulnerable, not again especially the ones who have hurt me the most, the ones closest.
Do you think all those friends and family are bad? Read about the Holocaust, then check this reference Jeremiah 17:9 from the Good Book and then go back to read about the holocaust, peradventure, you will find hope.
These are words that speak to our emotions one way or the other and question the very existence of our lives and relationships. For some of us, we can’t even bring ourselves to the pliability of these words. Have we ever considered what roles they play in our relationship with God?
Does he even expect anything like that from us? Can we ever meet his expectations of how he wants to see these virtues lived out in our lives? We deceive ourselves that we have forgiven but say they can’t come back into our lives.
We can’t love and allow people back into our lives because we can’t be VULNERABLE, not even to the new ones. If the ones closest have betrayed us, how much more the angels we barely know? No second-guessing. No second chances. The pains were too unbearable to be relived. Ouch! it actually still hurts. Jesus!, are you really serious about this your love thing?
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God, the perfect example of vulnerability
Take a step back and think of the many things you have done wrong in your relationship with God. Play God in that relationship and imagine what your reactions would be.
Compare that to how he currently treats you in spite of it all. Now Pause! Are you even worthy of the breath of life today? Shouldn’t you have been called to glory last night? Oh, the depths, the heights, the demons, angels that can’t separate us from His Love will just curse themselves for these benefits. Scripture admonishes us to owe just one thing – Love.
To be honest we get to points in our lives where we just throw in the towel and just walk away. If God kept walking away from us, where would we be by now? We are quick to quote the famous “Love your neighbour as yourself” but let’s call the spade a spade, we can’t bring ourselves to terms with it. Period!
I honestly will have to move heaven and earth to love that pest of a boss, or colleague, or partner. I simply can’t imagine myself doling out the kind of pleasures I do for myself to someone who just wants my downfall, I think. Every now and then I pamper myself, buy nice things for myself and occasionally eat out at places I wouldn’t do regularly. Can I ever do this for my neighbour? Yea, the annoying and troublesome one.
No!, but my master does these things for me.
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Time to Reset our minds
“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church”. Reading this scripture, I believe the kind of LovePaul spake of is the kind that isn’t based on looks, intelligence, educational qualifications, or anything we would consider in our day and age. It’s simply unmerited. Simply unconditional. Simply put the kind of Love that tolerates your rubbish and nonsense. That is the kind of Love Jesus demonstrates toward you daily.
I am not sure what to make of these things but one thing is certain; that he loves me more than I can ever comprehend and as such he beckons on me to allow him fill my heart with his Love, so I too can love immeasurable. That’s how Vulnerable He is. Enough to take every piece of my crap and still love us the same.
Ravi Zacharias says “Pain is a terrible thing and when you take that pain into your heart it becomes almost unbearable at that point and life is punctuated by suffering”.
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Through each process of Loving for God’s sake, you realize how finite you are and how desperately you need His presence in your life to carry you through. You will be cheated, abused, insulted and incarcerated simply because of your vulnerability. These are certain, you will grow in your love for God, as he fills your heart with his love, your heart will grow bigger and more tender, you’ll see man’s need for God’s love and ultimately you’ll grow into the stature and measure of the fullness of Christ.
Take this from me, maybe with a pinch of salt; everyone who has ever taken advantage of you one way or the other for being vulnerable, it’s their Loss. You got better.
Now is the time to lay hold of faith and love like he did. For those with knives cutting people off, maybe it’s time to cut yourself too off from God, just because you just don’t deserve anything, he gives you including breath and his Love. Knowing the difference between who to cut off and who to be patient with, is a direct fruit of the fullness of His Love in your heart. Today resolve to Love, Resolve to give people chances, Resolve to be vulnerable, Yes, I said that even though I am the worst culprit. The least you can do for any man is to be Vulnerable.
Post by Nana Yaw Nhyira Butah
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