For close to eight (8) solid years, a part of me had always wanted to write this reawakening story. I ignored that thought whenever it crossed my mind. Not because the passion to write was gone but because I let the pressures of life consume me. I lost passion for everything that brought a smile to my face and to those around me; all I focused on was work. I worked not because I loved my job but to avoid the accumulated feeling of loneliness and hurt.
I know some of you are wondering: hurt! Loneliness! Pressures of life! What the hell is this girl talking about? She is not married, has no children, her life has always been rosy and she has the nerve to complain? My brother, my sister not all that glitters is gold ooh!!! Most people felt I am a “d-bee”; kw33, m3ni bee (Me, a d-bee)! Oleee mpo (you have no idea)…kankpe (hard core) personified.
Reawakening To The Problem
Yes! I always looked strong on the outside, with that bright & girlish smile everyone loved; I was raised by a single-Christian mother, who never made me see her tears no matter how difficult our situation. So why should I cry? Even my own boyfriend sometimes felt I was too firm. He said in Fante “Awo kwraa 3y3 awuraba dodo (you are too much of a lady)… Ay3 wo ho Ms. prim & proper (you act all formal & disciplined)”.
Yes! I lived in a totally different world, characterized with doing everything humanly possible to see others (family, friends, employers, clients, the less privileged etc.) happy. For me, seeing people happy made me happy too. But life taught me a lesson, the hard way. This lesson led to the accumulated hurt I felt. Because with time, my compassion and thoughtfulness became a weakness which was preyed on by many.
My very last experience was really devastating; it led to depression. I risked it all: accidents, relationships, family, friends, everything. In the end, I was treated like trash. That was a heavy blow to my face and I really fell face down. But in seconds, I remembered my mother and my first love (GOD). I said to myself: “Hey! Don’t you give up now and don’t stay there on the ground. People suffer worse and they still smile. Remember you serve an unfailing God”.
Those few minutes on the ground had me reflecting on what I had missed out on this entire time. I remembered the things that made me laugh; the little things that made me extremely happy and I wondered when last I did those things. When last did I have a really good laugh because I was overjoyed? And the answer is as good as your guess….Like 1000 years ago…
That redefining moment marked my reawakening; I got off the ground and told myself there was more to life. “Girl, go do the things that makes you happy; never lose sight of the man up there again and never ever settle for less…” I have been dancing since and the track on replay is “He did it again by Sinach. Can you blame me?
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. ~James 1:2-3
Reawakening Story By An Anonymous Writer