Bad Boy Stories: Get Ibuprofen, Not a Condom

Get Ibuprofen, Not a Condom

It was a hot Wednesday afternoon and the Out Patient Department (OPD) was unusually empty. It was more like patients were on strike. Just as we mostly do, we gathered around the nurses’ table to chitchat. Many things were discussed; from career development, marriage through to business and finally to trivialities about some happenings around us.

Among the stories was what a colleague narrated about a friend who once embarrassed himself after he invited a beautiful damsel to his house one evening. Normally, I would have laughed such stories off but this particular one caught my attention; possibly because it resonated my personal ordeal some 3 or 4 years ago; I was posted up North to head a small Health Center in a suburb of Jirapa in the Upper West Region.

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Clearly, the gentleman had been chasing this lady for only God knows how long. So when the opportunity finally came for him to host her in his house, the excitement and anxiety alone caused him to forget he had a ‘brain’.

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It was around 7 pm when he heard a soft knock on his door. He yelled, “Who is it!” and quickly ran to check whether the CONDOMS he had stashed in the wardrobe were still there. He then went to open the door; it was Anita, the lady he had been yearning for all this while.
Standing there, all dressed in a navy blue straight dress ending just above the knees, she spoke in a seductive tone. “You said you wanted to see me; I’m here now”

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The gentleman was now confused and short of words. He led her inside the ghetto (slang for room), offered her a seat and welcomed her well well. Synonymous with a major boxing bout where amateurs fight before the main act comes, a convo started. This set the ball rolling for what was to come (the John the Baptist effect). Greater things I should say!

Let me fast forward the story to the juicy bit I know you are itching to read. After some time, their voices became inaudible and things started knocking things. Being clothed in her birthday suit was the breakthrough story of how the young man was in paradise.

Suddenly, what was intended to be an encounter full of sensational ecstasy became an awful spectacle. The young lady started screaming uncontrollably that she was in pain. She had developed an Acute Bone Pain, a SICKLE CELL CRISIS. That meant a poor supply of oxygen-rich blood to the joints thereby causing an unbearably-excruciating pain at the joints. Charley that was some moment to be up in a creek without a paddle.

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Being a medic himself, all he needed to do was to give the lady some Ibuprofen (pain reliever) then let the lady visit the hospital later. Like trying to find a needle in a haystack, he searched thoroughly through his Condom ‘infested’ wardrobe but could not find any painkiller. It was a crunch time for him now. He had no choice than to rush the lady to the hospital where he works.

Now come and see opana dressed in khaki shorts and some wretched T-shirt sweating profusely as though he had been given the whole of Ghana’s flagstaff house to scrub. Guilt was written all over his face as he stood helplessly; observe the night nurses attend to his bae.
The news was all over the place (something our man wished never happened in his life). He was trending in the hospital for all the wrong reasons you can think of; he vowed to get ibuprofen at all times!

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Moral of the story

Always keep a first aid box at home. You never know the medical history of who you invite to your house. You may be dealing with an asthmatic, a sickle cell, a diabetic or anything.

To the guys and ladies out there, know your partner’s health status, even if it’s “hit and run” lol. Play safe! Thanks for reading!

By: Victor Kojo Tordjo

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