Marriage ceremonies have lately been reduced to the showcasing of gowns, suits, decoration, cars, etc. Little attention is paid to whether the two persons are happy or not. My wedding, before known and unknown faces, marked the beginning of my woes. My marriage is in trouble, as I keep living a lie each passing day. I had said “I do” to someone I genuinely did not know if I could spend the rest of my life with.
Growing up I had heard stories and Bible teachings of love, and marriage. I heard “the next best thing to a man’s salvation is the kind of woman he marries”. My spiritual father also told me “you’ll have a great marriage and be one of the happiest husbands on earth. But if you miss the right woman, you will suffer”. As at now, I’ve found a right woman yet I’m not happy.
I befriended this sweet, devout Christian and powerful missionary called Ameley Bruce. She became my friend, teacher, study mate and evangelism partner. When we were together at church or home, we were always imprisoned in a certain peace. We could speak for hours on phone, tease ourselves, text, pray and play together.
The bond became stronger and our friendship was impregnable. Ameley and I joined Meg, Apostle Sharp and Brother Theo to evangelize at Berkwai. On the third day, we had the leading to pray about our future marriages. In the midst of the prayers, we literally had the burning-bush experience of Moses. We prayed, cried and had encounters with the Lord; it was an experience worth remembering. We returned from that mission getting closer to each other than before. Along the line, we fell in love and decided to get married. I loved her so much and she always confessed same.
Asem
One Tuesday night, I was waiting for her usual call before I slept. My phone rang and obviously it was Ameley. She broke the news in a way that raptured my heart. She opted out of the relationship. Her reason was that, our relationship was not the will of God. Like a daydream, my marital aspirations with Ameley evaporated into thin air.
I ran quickly to inform my pastor but it was too late. There was nothing any man or woman could do to help. I cried paaa and waited months for Ameley to overturn her decision. Unfortunately, the reconnection exercise didn’t happen. My happiness kept dwindling though I encouraged myself with Romans 8:28. Secretly, I always thought breaking up with Ameley was a bad decision.
After a long wait, I decided to move on; I had to move on someway, somehow. I met Borley, a beautiful soul with all the specs any fine boy would want. In-between my breakup, and when I finally found Borley, so many things changed. From my last experience, I was seriously not willing to trust any girl. I had to tread cautiously. I needed to overcome my biases and prejudices. And I very much wanted to get to know her better while taking a chance on her. Luckily for me, Borley connected very well with me and effortlessly too. Frankly, she had everything I wanted in a woman so I started to fall for her.
Life After Marriage
Borley and I got married on Saturday, July 1, 2017 in a coded location at Akosombo. Our wedding was a breathtaking taste of heaven on earth.
Two months into marriage, our lives looked anything but a beautiful fairy tale come true. Borley was in a work field that allowed her to work from home. And whenever I was at work, she was home, desperately lonely all day long. I understood her frustration and occasionally pressured myself to desert work just to spend time with her. That too didn’t happen too often because of issues at my office.
Here is my greatest fear. Marrying Borley has been from pain to agony, and emotional instability. There are too many details I can’t share with you. Borley changed koraa and too suddenly. She could nag like a mosquito, over anything, everything as and when she wanted to.
My Confusion
That’s not all o. I slowly awakened to the fact that though I had found a replacement for Ameley, I wasn’t happy. Ameley and I continually shared deep secrets, do the little gossips, explore the original ministerial plans and the excitements of our phone conversations could not be overemphasized. Ameley was an epitome of my ideal wife and soul mate yet I’m married to another woman. A part of me misses Ameley every single day and another part regrets putting my wife Borley through all of this.
I have cut all communication with Ameley but still, I’m not cool with myself and my marriage. I have tried to spice things up with my spouse but that too is not happening. We’ve tried second honeymoon and therapy sessions but nothing seem to work with our marriage.
What a terrible mess I have brought unto myself.
Dear reader, please advise me on how to handle my situation. No insults, please.
From An Anonymous Writer: Ghanaian Borga
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