Today is Valentine my people. A lot of women these days have joined the ‘men are trash’ train because someone’s undeserving son probably took their heart for keeps and ended up playing totals or what Ghanaians call “tootas” with it.
These women activate their ‘odeeshi’ mode and go on a whole life-long mission of hating the other gender; or at least till they get lonely again. That is, after years of watching relationship-goal videos on TikTok and Instagram, and seeing their own friends who didn’t give up finally chopping love and peppering their eyes.
One thing though, is that no matter how ‘odeeshi’ a lady becomes, no matter how much she claims miss independent and no matter how much money she makes for herself, it’s always way better and nicer spending somebody’s son’s money. I mean why would I want to use my own money to book a trip at the Maldives when I can bill somebody’s son and go shopping with my money later? Sense will kill me, I know. After all, it’s one of his own who hurt me and made me activate my ‘odeeshi’ so it shouldn’t hurt if he pays for it right?
The real Valentine distin
Now Valentine’s Day, as we all know, is that one day in all 365 or 366days of the year when lovers go all out for each other and go the extreme to prove how much love they have for each other. If you don’t get anyone taking you out or sending you cute gifts on Valentine’s Day, you’re left with the task of watching other people’s statuses to see what they got or where they were taken to.
The latter though, isn’t exactly an option any lady opts for (not even the odeeshi, independent ladies); because who would choose to gnash and lay in bed saying ‘D for Dab3n’ while watching others enjoy, over getting your own Princess treatment and shaking your ‘bootay’ on a yacht in Dubai?
A wise man once said, in February, men are the most perfect creatures God created; under no circumstance should a woman argue with her man especially in that month. (Na me be the wise man). Men, if February, or should I say the first half of February, you have any issue with your woman, please know she’s sorry. If you’re the one who’s wrong kraa she’s sorry. Please don’t drag it because we like peace every February.
Well, the day for ‘pulling pressure’ is here with us. My dear ‘odeeshi’ ladies, are you getting yourself a bomber or you dier you like chopping your own money?
Even if you like spending your own money, your Valentine won’t exactly Valentine because if you go alone, you’ll be missing this year’s theme of ‘posti ne nan’; meaning we’re posting our sponsors’ feet only! I mean, we need to show a bit of gratitude innit? However, No face, no case.
My stance on men re-echoed
I don’t know about you but as for me, the official advisor of the ‘men are trash’ association and the treasurer of the ‘Odeeshi ladies’ union’, I have deactivated my odeeshi till further notice; because somebody’s son has found me and I have fallen inside his love soup. (Please don’t tell him my love expires on 15th February).
Today is Valentine’s Day, my ladies. What did we say men are, again? Don’t ask me because all I know is men are not trash. I have never said anything contrary. Why would I even? Trash who? Trash where?