Love or Whatever… My Life Story

By Judith Ankomaah Dei

Posted on March 4, 2018

This is my love story; sorry, life story.

My good friend, Kojo, who lives at Adenta, introduced me to his neighbor one afternoon when I visited.

“Hi, my name is Sofia Akoto”, I introduced myself.

“Hi, mine is Kwame…… errmm…” he said. “If I mention my surname, you won’t believe it.”

“Amoako?” I asked in a tone which suggested I knew.

“Wow, how did you know?” He asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“Let’s just say I saw it in my dreams”

The chemistry was so thick and you would think we’ve known each other from Adam. That was how the vibe begun. And Oh! We spoke for long paaaaaaa.

When I got home later that evening, Kojo called asking if I wanted him to give my number to Kwame; I jokingly told him I wanted Kwame to ask again before he gave it to him. Little did I know I was on loud speaker. Yawa kwraaaa. The first impression was destroyed. I never asked of Kwame for months and I’m sure he didn’t bother either.

One day, Kojo and I went for a program and in the middle of the program, we diverted our route. Kojo requested we go see a friend of his somewhere in town. Guess who it was? Yes! It was Kwame.

Meeting Kwame again, it was like a veil of shyness had been used to cover my face.

“Damn, Sophia! You can’t be crushing on him.” I said to myself.

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Realizing I was acting shy, Kwame came closer, poking my shoulder. “Hey, am I a stranger to you? Don’t hurt my feelings by acting all shy around me.”

That flirtatious gesture made me feel more uneasy; but hey, a girl had to do what she had to do so I gathered more vim. “Don’t you know a shy girl when you see one? If you want to compliment my beautiful dress, do so without hurting my feelings” I said. This got the guys laughing and I felt like a comedian at a ‘1000 And Something Laughs’. It really felt good.

With all this drama ongoing, a sister was hungry and her purse was dryer than the harmattan. Kojo “did us fine” by sponsoring lunch, as if he could read minds. While I was still eating like I was being forced to, Kojo had already finished eating.

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I don’t know where this came from but Kojo told my crush to ask for my number. Kwame changed the topic immediately. “Charlie, Kojo, I need to take a bath.” I kept staring at him (Kwame) and wondering why he didn’t take my number. Because I was willing to give it to him.

Anyway, while he went away, I finished eating and had an interesting gossip session with Kojo. We were talking about Kwame. But we quickly had to switch the conversation when Kwame came back into the room.

It will surprise you to know that this guy dressed right in my presence. What shocked me gravely was my ability to watch a full-blown man dress up and how I wasn’t shy. I learnt something new about myself that day. Maybe the shock took the shyness away; just maybe.

After dressing up, Kwame set up his laptop for a cool cinema experience in his room. Kojo had to excuse himself to attend to some urgent business outside. Whatever that business was, I was feeling uneasy spending time alone with Kwame.

We laid on the bed while watching the movie in silence. I don’t even remember the title of the movie because I was barely concentrating; I was just stealing glances at him.

Then he broke the silence and we started an interesting conversation (details of which I’m too shy to disclose). I felt so comfortable and opened up (you know how girls can talk). We exchanged numbers quickly, continued the movie and the chat. The edwaman (spoilt girl) in me wanted to put my big head on his chest. But I was scared; what if his girlfriend walked in?

After a very nice conversation and a movie I couldn’t remember, Kojo walked in. He asked to take me back to school since it was late. He dropped me off at the entrance of University of Professional Studies (UPSA) and sped off to Adenta.

I got home only to realize I had misplaced my charger. So I called Kwame, who said I left it at his end. I was happy I left it, meaning I had to go back for it.

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Because of school schedule, I couldn’t immediately go back for my charger. I told my friend, Maame about it and she was thinking I left it on purpose. But heaven knows I didn’t. Maame’s ear didn’t rest that week. She was always hearing Kwame this, Kwame that.

Saturday finally came and I didn’t waste time koraa going to see him. When I got to his neighborhood, I called him to come for me since I had forgotten his apartment. It was all a lie. He came down to fetch me to his room. We had another trilling conversation about everything and nothing, till late. This time around, I left my charger on purpose. So, as usual, I had to go back for it. Things became normal between Kwame and me that I didn’t need an excuse to visit him; all I needed was time.

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Maame and I made time the following Saturday to go see Kwame. Surprisingly, Kwame and Maame jelled so easily while I sat down in a pool of shyness. It begun to look like Maame rather introduced him to me. My silence became so obvious and irritating that Maame said she wasn’t going to come there again. I felt bad and join in the conversation.

Maame said she was going to see a friend nearby (she and Kojo have something in common). As if Maame took the shyness away with her, my ‘gyimie’ (fooling) came. I requested that we played truth or dare ????. It was fun because I got him twice; the first one, I told him to call Kojo and tell him he loves him. That’s gay! I know; more reason I wanted him to do it. As for the second one, unless you see me in chambers ??.

Fast forward to days later when emotions heightened; it looked like Kwame didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt so I had to channel the feelings into something else. Plus, I didn’t want to lose him as a friend; I enjoyed his company.

****

A new guy, Yaw came into the scene. I didn’t love him but I said yes because he was a good guy; well, he looked like a good guy and was very Godly. Truth be told, I desperately wanted to fall for him to get Kwame out of my system.

Oh, before I forget, Yaw asked that we kept the relationship low key. He explained his friend asked him to come toast me for him so there will be foul play if his friend knew about us. And as dumb as I was, I fell for that excuse.

People on UPSA campus knew something was going on between Yaw and me but anytime anybody asked, I denied it. I always told Yaw to tell his friend because I know guys take things cooler than girls. He kept saying he valued their friendship so we should give it time.

Yaw had these female friends who started showing signs of dislike for me. I knew they suspected we were going out. Anytime I asked him why he was lying to the girls about us, he would come up with a new excuse. “Babe, you know girls can talk so let’s keep it on the low”, he said for the nth time.

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I was trying my best to love this guy but it looked like he was not being honest with me. I told Kwame about Yaw; he didn’t believe me initially but at a point he did. We were still good friends so I use to visit but not that often. The few times I did, we mostly talked about my new relationship. I told Kwame how I was supposed to keep it “low key” and he gave it to me (rebuke). He had this nice way of blasting me when I did something wrong. But I told him to understand because I needed the relationship to work; he didn’t know I was in that relationship to get over him.

Yaw and I met in town one time and he asked that I come with him to cook. I agreed (it’s not like I like cooking, I’m very lazy at it). I entered the room as the rice was cooking and we started to have a conversation. He spoilt the fun when he brought the sex subject up. I was like, “I’ve already told you so why are u bringing it up again”.

We were talking when all of a sudden, his lips were on mine. I freed my lips and then he was trying to make me feel bad about it. This naughty boy tried again; this time, I gave in. We kissed from the couch and to the bedroom. The kiss was getting intense as he tried undressing me. I declined yet he didn’t give up. He kept trying to open my zip and I also kept stopping him. The guy was desperate for sex which I wasn’t willing to give. He kept pushing and I was getting weak. I don’t know what happened but he got weak for a split second and I used the opportunity to step out of the room. I was terrified. “The guy could have raped me”, I said to myself.

I went back to his place the following day because I wasn’t really doing anything and thought of visiting my “boyfriend”. I was still trying hard to make it work even though I told myself I wasn’t going to try again. We were watching a movie nicely when he spoilt the moment by trying the kiss thing again. I was like you koraa what sort of liar are you (not to his hearing though); you apologized yesterday and here you are begging for sex again.

The struggles of the previous day repeated itself and this time around I was more scared. I struggled with him as usual and he foolishly apologized. I took notice of the fact that he did bad things and acted like nothing had happened, making me feel I’m the one making a big deal about everything. After the incident, we never spoke about it and we acted like it never happened.

I told Kwame about the two rape attempts and he asked that I be more careful. I told him I was done with Yaw but it wasn’t official so me I was just in the relationship waiting for the worse. Sometime inside knew it would end soon but I didn’t know how soon.

Around 1 am, I heard my phone ring. I was very pissed because the caller was interrupting a very good sleep; but I reached for the phone all the same and realized it was Yaw.

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“If any of my friends call to ask if we are dating, say no (as if I needed that tuition all of a sudden); one of your friends has given us away.”

“Dude, I don’t care what your friends even think of me; it’s their business” I made it clear to him. “Please listen to me” he added.

“Whichever girl you’re scared of won’t call me; she can’t call me; not in this world or the next”, I blurted to confirm I couldn’t deal with his crap for long.

Weeks passed after the childish show…

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I was there one afternoon when Maame came telling me she met Elorm (Yaw’s female friend) on her way to get water. According to her, Elorm wanted to see me and she was very angry. She was angry because she read my chats with Yaw and knows I’ve been discussing her. After what Maame told me, I was angry at myself for allowing all this to happen. Gosh, such disrespect!

Meanwhile, I had never stopped talking to Kwame; though he was disappointed, he still did his best to stand by me. I started visiting him often because the reason I was supposed to avoid him didn’t happen; I started flirting big time.

One time on the phone, Kwame asked why I accepted Yaw if I knew I didn’t love him. I then told him the whole truth; that was when I got to know he was developing feelings for me?. He asked me to come over. That day was for discussing exes. He told me about his past relationship and I told him about mine. One thing led to another and we kissed; oh yeah, we did. It was nice, sweet and the feeling was so good. I didn’t regret one bit. Yeah, I know I am supposed to be in some relationship but at that moment I had to put myself first for once in my pathetic life. Do you think I cheated? Well, to me I didn’t.

Weeks after the glorious kiss, the time I was waiting for finally came. Yaw told me he needed to discuss something with me. He told me about pressure from home and church to get married because he wasn’t getting any younger. Dear reader, Yaw knew so well I wasn’t ready for marriage. He was telling lies; no one was giving him pressure because they know he is schooling. On my part, I told him I wasn’t ready and that I had to finish school and get a better paying job; plus, I was too young to think of marriage.

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I was on my way home one day, seated in my favorite means of transport (troskie) and talking to Kwame, laughing and smiling (anyone watching me could tell how happy I was) when I saw Mr. & Mrs. walk enter the same car. I knew they wouldn’t sit by me. I mean, he dare not. His madam (Elorm) would murder him if he tried.

They took the seat in front of mine and started talking. I wasn’t listening to them, as I was busily ‘loviciating’ with my Kwame. The journey home an hour and 30 minutes and I was on phone with Kwame throughout. Some love and life story!

That same evening, I was in my room when I heard my phone ring; guess who the caller was. Yaw! That guy got some guts you know ?! He asked why I didn’t call him when I got home. I was like “seriously?” like “it’s your business; I don’t owe u any damn explanation.

Now, back to the call; he was asking who I was talking to for that long on the phone. I was like, “Jeeeeeezzz, this guy’s got some nerves”. Well, I told him it was none of his business and he got pissed; but hey, I cared less. We argued and argued till he got tired of it. I don’t even remember how the call ended.

I was in the library when I heard someone mention my name; I raised my head and it was Yaw again. I guessed he finally wanted to drop the hanging conversation; maybe the marriage pressure was getting intense.

He started ranting about how his family and church was giving him pressure to marry. The excuse he claims the church gave was to make him a pastor. “I was like, ‘you’ Yaw to become an Osofo (pastor). I don die.” His kind will destroy the pastoral image.

I just wanted the relationship to be over so I didn’t ask anything. He asked what he should do and I told him as for me I wasn’t ready for marriage. I suggested he found someone else and even volunteered names. Finally he said the magical words I had been waiting for.

Was I happy? I don’t even know but I sure wasn’t sad one bit…. Probably, to me we had already broken up.

Now that it’s official, I can concentrate on my Kwame in peace. And oh, while he was talking, all I could think about and picture was Kwame.

Freedom!