The most difficult time to be in a relationship as a guy is in your early twenties. This is the period you are stuck in a limbo; trying to figure out yourself and who you want to be. At this age, you find it a herculean task asking money from your parents; your dad will always remind you of how he was self-sufficient at your age. So you are always left with “Nkechiyere” anyone that comes from them willingly.
To compound your “woes”, you have a girlfriend whom you love so much. You are 24 and she is 23. As a man it’s sometimes frustrating not being able to take care of her needs. I mean, where is the money?? You are still jobless, still hustling, still finding your feet. Still putting hands into many things hoping oluwa smiles on you.
Related: Why I Had To Kill My Father….
When The Girl-Guy Drama Starts
All of a sudden, she starts acting up and showing attitude. You call, and she takes forever to pick or return your calls.
When she finally picks the call, her response is straightforward. She has this annoying one-word replies like in an interview session. Yes. No. Fine. Okay. Nothing.
She ends the call with a flimsy excuse “lemme close the fridge and call you back”. And the call never comes.
Then one day she calls you randomly and asks, “where is this relationship heading”. (You don’t even know where your own life is heading, not to talk of a relationship).
She drops the bombshell that she’s met a guy who wants to marry her. She goes on and on about how she is not getting any younger. At this point you are compelled to scream “But you are just 23. Can’t you wait 3 more years let me make it”.
Or, she says “I don’t feel the same way about you”.
You ask her if she loves him and she dodges the question with the “He treats me well” response. Since she wasn’t informing you to take permission, you have to be the cool guy and wish her well.
One week later, she gives you the traditional wedding card and then you do the math yourself. It means she was talking to the guy a long time before now. Then you realise that for every “K” you got on WhatsApp, the guy was getting an epistle. You have been played. Truth is, you can’t even blame her; you were just a prospect without cash.
She has gone for the real deal, someone who has already made it. In footballing terms, you are a “Anthony Martial” (prospect) while the guy is a Messi (has made it already). When you were sending her GHS 5 recharge cards, the guy was giving 10k.
And then you go through that silent heartbreak guys go through; the one guys don’t talk about. Unceremoniously, you get inducted into the special hall of fame where members’ childhood love left them to marry someone else. Your heart is broken into smithereens. In this hall of fame, you are all victims; victims of not having found your path in your early twenties.
Your Sweetheart’s Wedding
At the wedding, nothing is heartbreaking than seeing the love of your life say “I do” to this guy she just met 6 months ago.
In the heat of the moment, you get an alert from ECOBANK telling you how 40cedis has been deducted from your bank account. You are mad. Now, your last GHS 140 is down to 100. Can life be more unfair at this moment?
To make matters worse, she tells you that she wants you to be the god-father to her first son. Nonsense! You are livid; the plan you both had was to be the father: god wasn’t part of the deal. Why are you involving god now?
God-father huh???.. is that a sort of compensation package?
You chin it up, suck it in, move on and double your hustle. That’s life mehn.